Retirement is Not in the Cards, At Least the Retirement That Most People Expect

Writing books, not selling vegetables

Whenever I think about my crumbling old age, bumbling around the house and making a nuisance of myself, I think it would be nice to have a chuck of fertile land in a green province of the Philippine archipelago and spend the rest of my days tending to a garden. Maybe I will sell fruit to hapless tourists at a roadside stand. Maybe I would sit with my feet up on the porch, doing a bit of writing.

While all this sounds great, it is just not realistic, except for maybe the writing part.

You see, my wife is only 37 years old and has plans and goals that don’t involve digging in the dirt and manure. She is starting college again next year to get her undergrad. She has a bright future ahead of her because she is incredibly smart and whatever she decides to do, she will be brilliant. As for me, if I can get it paid for, there is at least an MFA in my future, and if I have my way, a doctorate. There are a few people who think I am insane to even be thinking about more college at my age, but I know my future is in academia, teaching, and building a writing career. Even if I am 55 and should probably be thinking about retirement and building a nest egg for myself and my young family, I have plans and goals that don’t involve digging in and slowing down.

But the truth is: I married a much younger woman, who is nowhere near ready to retire, and I have two kids who still need to go to college and build their own lives. As much as getting dirt under my nails and pooping in the woods on a wilderness farm sounds like fun, it is not at all what I want and not even close to the reality of my situation.

I want to teach at a university, and from what my wife says, she is looking to get a psychology degree, so I imagine she will work as a counselor or advisor. She is very good at handling details, and she is never afraid to tell people what needs to be said. Unlike me, who is somewhat of a doormat and always tries to avoid confrontation, my wife meets every challenge head-on, and because of that, she will mow through any hurdle placed in her way and will be incredibly successful in whatever she decides to do.

She will not accept retiring on a farm, and I don’t want that for her. She still has her whole life ahead of her, and I knew that when I signed on to be her husband. In fact, after she graduates, we will most likely move to a country with a more favorable job outlook, like New Zealand or Norway or even, dare I say, the USA. I could even see us in Spain, Germany, or another Scandinavian country. Someplace with socialized healthcare and a good standard of living.

The Philippines is okay but doesn’t provide job stability or a standard of life that is anywhere near what we want as a family. Yeah, the beaches are great, and it is beautiful, but beaches don’t pay the bills, and a nice view will not make us financially successful, which are both goals we want to crush as a family. Plus the Philippines has gotten way too expensive to live.

Zoey wants to be a digital artist, and I imagine Joey, with the way he is a technology savant, will go on to do great things with computers and tech. I want them to go to college, and be able to chase whatever dreams they choose, and to do that we have to leave our comfort zone in the Philippines and get out there and take some chances. Fortune does not favor the weak, and slowing down just when my life is getting good would be a silly thing for a man like me to do.

In the next 10 years, I see us (but mostly me) traveling and building my writing career. My wife has college to finish, and I have her blessing to see the world and build memories to write about after I slow down. I can teach to pay the bills but what I want the most is to be a published writer – books, features, maybe movies, who knows? I’ll spend a few years on my MFA, learning to be a better writer and networking with other authors, editors, and publishers. College will give me the spark I need to take my career to the stratosphere, something I couldn’t do just being a self-taught author and writer.

The doctorate would be nice, but not a necessity. I just thought “Dr. Jason Weiland” would look great on my gravestone. Am I right? But death is still what, 30 or 40 years away? I have plenty of time to do what I want and make whatever successes happen I couldn’t make when I was a much younger man.

Yes, I spent most of my 20s, 30s, and 40s as a depressed and broken man, but that is far from what I am now, and I have a family ready to go there with me. My wife is on fire, and passionate, and I know she will do what she needs to do to be happy and fulfilled in life, and she will not quit as I have done so many times before.

So, no, retirement as most people know will not happen for me. As much as it sounds nice to have an organic farm and live in the province and sell veggies to tourists, it is not realistic and not what my next 30 years look like.

What does the next 30 years look like for you?