Nothing Can Stop Me Now

All it takes is faith

All those decisions — career, college, finances — I was never sure I was making the right choices. I always second-guessed myself.

The last time was when I graduated college in January 2024, I wondered if all that money I spent to get a degree was worth it. I struggled to get a job and despaired. I worried I was too old, and maybe, just maybe, I was not a very good writer.

Then I landed my latest client and all doubt faded. Why did they hire me? They loved my work online. Where did they find me? Twitter/X — and then looked me up on LinkedIn.

I am making good money doing something I love.

But this is just the beginning.

My boss is helping me build my personal writer brand by giving me a byline on the Quicken blog and encouraging me to explore just what that brand means to me.

So far, I have discovered that I have been trying to take my differences, the color of my life, and my creativity and build value for my clients.

I have to say that the person who put me on that path I don’t talk to much anymore. My friend Dr. Maggie, who came to me after my heart attack and asked for help with her busy life, has been a constant in my life for a few years now. I offered technical coaching and we became fast friends.

But Maggie is going through a part of her life that I cannot help with, or she at least has asked for space, and I wish I could give back what she gave to me.

Maggie taught me in a teacher’s way that there is value in all this knowledge in my head. All these years I have learned about web design, technology, content creation, writing, video production, audio, and digital marketing, and that has value for the right people.

For Quicken I write about business and finance, for others, I will ghostwrite using my talent and experience and help them reach their goals.

My experience and knowledge add value to the right people, and I am starting to find those people.

Nothing can stop me now, because I understand that I am finding my groove, building my tribe, and making my place in this busy world.

What does it mean to me to finally find my purpose? It took me to strip away the fear — of being 55 and jobless, of being 55 and in bad health — and forced me to take a chance on my future.

Not many people will admit this, but part of me finding my purpose was analyzing my relationship with God. It was not until I decided that I wanted my life to mean something, that I wanted to believe in something bigger than myself, that I wanted to live for more than “me,” that I was able to take that next step in my life.

I played the blame game for too long, and blamed others, even God, for my problems when all I had to do was look inward and forward. I stopped looking back with regret, and that unlocked parts of my mind I thought were lost.

I look back at the atheistic and agnostic parts of my life with sadness, because I was searching for something, and it took God to help me to find it.

Now that I have a purpose, I can take that energy and shape the rest of my life. I can build a career, a business. I can balance the needs of my wife and family. I can walk the balance beam of work and life and build an existence that will make everyone happy.

There is no stopping me now because I have hope for the future. I have hope that God will live up to his promises, and I have hope that I can spend the next years of my life building something like a life out of the ashes of my torched past.

There is no sense looking back when everything is today and forward.

There is no regret, only calm and clear thinking, and a serene feeling that God is with me as I walk my path in life.

I am a changed man, but isn’t life all about change? Isn’t it about being different, colorful, fulfilled? How are you going to live every color of the rainbow when your life stays the same dreary gray you wake up to every morning?

I could no longer live like that. I couldn’t dwell and swim in all that negativity.

Yes, many of my friend have turned from me because they don’t want to believe. They say God is for suckers. But here I am with a smile on my face and hope in my heart, while they die in a world of pain and uncertainty. There is no faith or belief left in them. The world of climate change, inflation, and Trump has removed any sense of hope from their vocabulary and they can’t fathom that all it takes is a little faith.

I don’t claim to have all the answers. I feel like a babe in the woods, searching for warmth against the cold of this world. I pray. I study. I believe when it all seems so unbelievable. I have faith, which is something I have never had.

All it took was to open myself to something greater than myself. All it took was to believe I was a good writer, and I could add value. All it took was to believe for once that everything would work out for the better.

Nothing can stop me now. I believe it.